He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
