Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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