I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
