He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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