I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Are my feet made of real feet?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
