We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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