whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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