I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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