she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We had to coat check the pizza.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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