There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Randomize
