I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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