It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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