winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
