Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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