The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I will pee on everything he values.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
