The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
