so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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