the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
