hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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