It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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