Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
