words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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