3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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