OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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