You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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