Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
