I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
