Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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