he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
