This girl is more easily done than said...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
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