Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
