loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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