Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Randomize
