Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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