Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize