I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
