i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Can I color on your dick again?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
