ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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