I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
