If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
