so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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