dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
