I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Houston, we have a squirter
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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