She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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