My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i will never coherently bang her
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
