Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
