yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
