So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
