Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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