If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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