How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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