i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
