Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
