your parents love me but you hate me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
