I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
