Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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