He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
whose parrot is this?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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