She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
