i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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