In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
