I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
