if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
