She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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