The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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