Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
