you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
